Do you think CEOs have it easy? They get paid "the big bucks," right? Well, I would guess that they suffer some Maalox moments from time to time, just like the rest of us do. In fact, I would guess (not having ever been a CEO myself!) that they experience some angst when they return to the office after being away for a time and sort through those ubiquitous, hated, pink "While You Were Out" slips written by their administrative assistants, to determine what fires need to be extinguished quickly, versus what can wait. You know, however, that the voicemail also fills up during an executive absence. Some executives even have their assistants transcribe their voicemails so that all messages are in the familiar format. Here, then, are my top 10 (in true David Letterman style) "messages CEOs don't want to see on a 'While You Were Out' slip."

10. Your primary competitor (insert company name here) called. They have put in a hostile takeover bid for the company that would provide a decent return for our shareholders, but would completely subvert your strategic plans for growing the business.

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